reality is a sliding door
by Ellipsis the Great
Summary: Leonard survives an attack on a strange new planet  the only survivor from the away team , and begins to exhibit…strange signs upon his return. For the Vampire Weekend Challenge at the jim-and-bones comm at lj. Possible dub-con contained.


_**reality is a sliding door**_

_**Summary:**__ Leonard survives an attack on a strange new planet (the only survivor from the away team), and begins to exhibit…strange signs upon his return. For the Vampire Weekend Challenge at jim-and-bones._

_**Disclaimer:**__Star Trek and everything affiliated with it belongs to Gene Roddenberry, JJ Abrams, and all those other cool cats who own it. Title comes from a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. All I own is the plot…_

_**Rating: **__R_

_**Warnings:**__ Vampirism, violence, and blood play; possible dub-con depending on how you read it._

Leonard McCoy, CMO of the USS _Enterprise_, is running for his life.

Oddly, the only thought that is really running through his mind is that he _told_ Jim that this would be a bad idea. He hates beaming down to places, hates being on away teams, hates the unknown, never was drawn to Starfleet because of that spiel about discovering new things. And—although he'll hardly admit this to himself, much less anyone else—he hates going to a new planet without Jim on the away team with him.

But Jim is needed on the Bridge, for reasons that Leonard can't quite think of at the moment, and Spock is working on an important experiment, so somehow or other it was decided that Leonard would be the representative of the Alpha Crew to go down, accompanied by various members of the Security team.

And they're all dead, now.

Leonard's seen death, before. It's part of his job description as a doctor, and he's seen death in ways some people can only imagine.

What he just saw, though…even if he survives this shit physically, he knows quite well that his emotional and mental states won't be quite so lucky.

Not that he thinks he's going to survive, mind you. Honestly, he's starting to wonder if it's even worth it to run—if he'll just die tired—but he doesn't quite seem to have control over his body.

He wishes he could hear them, but he can hardly hear his own disjointed thoughts over the sound of his feet thumping against the ground, his heart thumping against his chest, his tricorder thumping against his side. He looks back, knows even as he turns his head that it's a bad idea, and can't stop himself from crying out like some terrified animal as his foot catches on something—a root, a rock, a fucking _bug_—and he goes down hard, arm twisting underneath him at an unnatural angle, a sickening crack reaching his ears that he's too delirious with fear to identify—his arm, a stick, his head against the ground.

He tries to scramble to his feet, tries to get his goddamned useless shaking legs to work, tries to get his breathing back under control—

And then they're on him, and another scream is wrenched from his throat because he can feel claws in his back, teeth in his neck, the dirt and rocks grinding into his skin—

The blessed tingling feeling that accompanies a beam-up, and then he's gone, the shrill, angry shrieks of the monsters echoing in his ears as their prey disappears into thin air.

(SPACE IS DISEASE AND DANGER WRAPPED IN DARKNESS AND PAGEBREAKS)

James Kirk, Captain of the USS _Enterprise_, is scared for his best friend and lover's life.

He's sitting at Bones' bedside, the entire closed-off space preternaturally quiet as he watches Bones' chest rise and fall—in and out, in and out, in and out.

He can feel his forehead wrinkle with worry as Bones' breath hitches a few times before settling back into its usual pattern—hitch, in and out, in and hitch and out, in and out, in and out.

And he sighs, squeezing his eyes shut, just listening for a while. When he opens his eyes again, he's looking down at the PADD in his lap. He brings the bud up and puts it in his ear as he settles back, jaw clenching, and then hits the 'play' button.

"_Personal log, Stardate whatever-the-fuck-day-it-is, goddammit, I'm a doctor, not a calendar."_

He smiles.

"_I have just been beamed down to an as-yet-unnamed planet—might I suggest Planet Pain in My Ass? We can call it PIMA for short—with three members of Security: Lieutenant Commander G'narish and Ensigns Marcus and Intyl, the last of whom I definitely plan on hypoing into oblivion very soon if he doesn't shut the fuck up. We haven't come upon any sentient life forms, as yet, only a few plants and…"_

There is static for a moment, and a few garbled words that Jim thinks might be _"What in the fuck is—Oh my God, oh my God,"_ followed by an ungodly scream that is muffled but still makes him jerk in his seat.

And then all he hears are screams—some he can vaguely recognize as belonging to his crewmembers. Former crewmembers. Others are inhuman. In-alien, too, or at least in-alien in regards to the ones with which he's familiar.

"_Energize! Beam me up, Christ Almighty—"_

He can hear Bones running. Hears him panting for breath, hissing in accompaniment to the sound of swishing and cracking branches, cursing every so often. Mostly he hears the things chasing after him, shrieking and baying, sometimes nearer but sometimes graciously far away.

Then comes the part of the tape that makes his blood run cold even though he knows it's coming—Bones lets out a terrified scream that sounds like it was torn from his body; that shakes Jim down to his very core. An audible crack tells him that Bones has fallen (Bones' wrist is broken, Jim remembers vaguely), and he is still screaming when those _things_ catch up with him, howling triumph to the skies. Jim is sure that he can hear their claws tear into Bones' skin before the Comm ends, signaling Bones' salvation in the guise of the (finally working) transporter.

He sucks in a breath and rips the earpiece out, leaning forward as he realizes that he's trembling, holding his head in his hands for a moment before he lets go in favor of grabbing Bones' hand and bringing it to his lips.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, and can feel the burn of tears as they fall. "Fuck, Bones, I'm so sorry."

Bones shifts a little in his sleep, his face contorting with pain or fear or both. He's so pale, and M'Benga can only use the regenerator in short spurts thanks to the blood transfusions Bones is getting, so the sallowness of his skin makes the yellowing bruises and angry red cuts stand out all the more. He looks like he's dying.

A sob almost escapes at the thought, but he bites his lip and chokes the sound back, pressing Bones' hand to his forehead.

"Don't leave me." His voice is hoarse with emotion, and the tears come faster. "Please, please, please, don't leave me alone."

(SPACE IS DISEASE AND DANGER WRAPPED IN DARKNESS AND PAGEBREAKS)

_Leonard is standing at one end of a hallway. Up ahead he can see three doors._

_One looks…_feels_…like something out of an old horror holo. Dark, dangerous…the kind of door that is full of warnings against going toward it, but that is so tempting at the same time that he can already feel himself stepping toward it, his hand rising to touch the knob…_

_The second is so bright that he can hardly look at it. It is…beautiful isn't strong enough a word for it, although it is that. It is…radiant, and peaceful._

_He nearly doesn't notice the third, because it seems smaller and unassuming in the face of the other two. Mundane, perhaps._

_He stares at them for a long moment, his leg tensing and relaxing as he almost walks toward one, and then toward another, his indecision literally paralyzing him until finally he turns to see where he had come from just so that he can actually __**do **__something._

_A fourth door, rustic-looking, with no handle or any other obvious way to open it. He pushes on it, curious, and is struck with a sudden feeling of dread when it doesn't so much as rattle a little._

_He turns again, and runs to the other three doors, grasping at the first knob he comes to (the dangerous door) and turning it. Locked. He soon finds that the other two are locked, as well, quickly becoming more and more overwrought with panic with each failed try. He yells, going from one door to another, over and over again, using his body as a battering ram, kicking, slamming his fists—_

"Bones!"

He's still screaming when his eyes burst open, his vision fuzzy for a moment as the lights blind him. Someone, something, several someones, is holding him down, and he screams again, thrashing and bucking wildly until he feels the sting of a hypo at his neck. He can almost feel the surge of whatever-it-is (some sort of mild sedative, the doctor in him supplies) in his veins; can definitely feel his body forcibly relaxing, still twitching at odd intervals as if the meds can't quite tamp down all of his nervous, nightmare-induced energy.

"Bones?" The voice from before is quieter, this time. Almost frightened, and when he looks around and his gaze meets Jim's, he finds that the expression there matches the tone. In spite (because?) of that, he is pretty sure that the sight of Jim is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen up to now.

"Doctor," his eyes shift to M'Benga, who is wearing a weak smile, "I'm glad to see you finally awake."

The phrase sounds forced, though he can't think why it would be.

"Do you remember what happened?"

His eyes flutter closed for a moment, but flashes of blood and death make him jump and open them again, his teeth grinding together compulsively.

"Were there," his voice is soft; unrecognizable, "any other survivors?"

"No."

He lets his head fall back onto his pillow, turning it away so that maybe they won't see that he's starting to cry, his chin trembling as he tries to suppress it.

"It happened so fast." Jim says. He can hear the emotion in Jim's voice; knows he's just as torn up (ha, _torn up_) about it as Leonard is.

"Did you recover their bodies?"

A pause.

"There wasn't…much left to recover." M'Benga says, and looks away when Leonard looks at him. "They were dr…drained of blood and…and a few chunks of flesh were missing."

He hears a whimper, but doesn't realize that it's him making the sound until he rolls over and vomits, shaking and crying again. He jerks when a hand touches his shoulder, and stares down at the bile on the floor.

"M'Benga…" Jim's voice is quiet, still. Scared. "There's blood."

Leonard lets out a gasping breath, his eyes rolling back into his head, and he passes out.

(SPACE IS DISEASE AND DANGER WRAPPED IN DARKNESS AND PAGEBREAKS)

When Leonard wakes up again, Jim is the only one at his bedside.

"It's been three days." Jim says.

He doesn't say anything, sitting up with painstaking care so as not to jar his injuries. It takes him a moment to realize that he doesn't have any.

"They finished fixing you up yesterday." Jim says, and Leonard wonders how he keeps guessing what questions he's going to ask. He wasn't looking at Jim before, but he does now when Jim says, "But you still wouldn't wake up."

Jim's lips are pursed together in a thin, downturned line, his eyebrows gathered together at the apex of his nose. His eyes are more bloodshot than blue, and rimmed with dark circles like he hasn't slept in days.

"Jim," he whispers, and Jim surges forward like that's the push he needed, pressing their lips together before throwing his arms around Leonard, burying his face in Leonard's neck, holding on so tight that Leonard can hardly breathe. Leonard returns the embrace with just as much force, and maybe clutches just a little tighter when he feels the hot sting of tears against his neck, feels Jim shuddering in his arms. "Oh, Jim."

"I thought I was going to lose you." Jim's words are strained, forced, like saying the words might make them come true even though Leonard is long out of the woods (so to speak). "I was afraid I wasn't ever going to see you again."

"I'm okay," says Leonard, recognizing subconsciously that he is reassuring himself as much as Jim. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Never again." Jim shakes his head, pressing soft, delicate kisses against Leonard's neck. "You're never allowed to go anywhere ever again."

And Leonard chuckles a little in spite of himself, nuzzles his nose into Jim's neck and breathes in deep, is overcome with the sudden urge to open his mouth and bite down—

Someone clears their throat, and Jim pulls away, not seeming to notice the absolutely flabbergasted expression on Leonard's face as it occurs to him what he was just tempted to do.

"Doctor," Spock says, and Leonard wonders if _he_ noticed, because his eyebrow is tilted ever so slightly upward, "it is good to see you are well."

"Mr. Spock." Leonard says, but can't think of what to say after that.

Spock nods stiffly, then says, "Captain, you are needed on the Bridge. Admiral Pike wishes to speak with you about our last exploratory mission."

Leonard wonders if Spock is phrasing it like that so that Leonard might not understand what he's talking about or because that's just how he speaks.

"Right." Jim's gaze flickers to Leonard. "Right. Tell him I'll be there in just a moment."

"Of course, Captain." Another nod, a final cursory glance at Leonard, and then Spock turns sharply on his heel and leaves the room.

Jim looks back at Leonard, and his eyes soften. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but nothing comes out and eventually he leans down and kisses Leonard again. He pulls back, staring into Leonard's eyes, and Leonard understands what he wants to say.

"I'm not going anywhere." Leonard says.

One last kiss, chaste but no less sweet, but his hand lingers on Leonard's cheek for a moment before he pulls away and leaves the room, quickly as if he won't be able to go otherwise.

Leonard is left alone with his thoughts.

His thoughts frighten him.

(SPACE IS DISEASE AND DANGER WRAPPED IN DARKNESS AND PAGEBREAKS)

_He is in the hallway again. The first door—the dark, dangerous one—creaks open just a little. He walks over to it, pushes it gently, and stares._

The next day, Christine smiles at Leonard as she hands him a uniform so that he can change and leave Medical. When he takes the clothes, she throws her arms around him, pulling away before he can quite register what she's doing.

"I'm glad you're okay, sir." She says.

"Me, too." He smiles faintly.

She stares at him for a moment like there's something else he should be saying or doing, then shakes her head as if to clear it and smiles brilliantly, leaving the room with a soft farewell.

He watches the privacy curtain swish closed behind her, then sets about stripping and pulling on the uniform. When he finishes he just stands there for a moment, hands smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt listlessly.

Then he sighs and runs a hand through his hair, throwing his hospital gown in the nearby laundry chute and then pulling the curtain open. His nose twitches, and if his gaze lingers on an Engineering Ensign with a long gash on her arm from some accident or other, he doesn't really notice.

'_Since when,_' he wonders instead, '_does Sickbay smell so goddamned appetizing?_'

(SPACE IS DISEASE AND DANGER WRAPPED IN DARKNESS AND PAGEBREAKS)

Jim is waiting for Bones in their room, and when his lover enters he can feel a broad smile stretch across his face.

Bones looks…whole, again. A little pale, still, but the cuts and bruises are gone, leaving not a scratch behind to hint at what they have all been through over the past couple of days.

He stands up and crosses the room, threading his arms around Bones' torso and thinking himself selfish for being grateful that Bones is just a tad taller, just a tad broader than him—it means that when Bones hugs him back, he's fully surrounded by the embrace. And he should be the one _giving_ his lover that feeling of comfort, of protection, but it feels so good to be on the receiving end of it.

"I'm off shift until tomorrow," he says into Bones' neck. "And you're not allowed back in Sickbay for another two days, at least, unless there are any other complications."

"Mm." Bones grunts, brushing his nose against Jim's hairline. "After this long, you've got to have thought up a better line than _that_."

"It's only been a week." Jim says. "And I've never needed a line to get you into bed."

Bones chuckles low in Jim's ear. "I guess that's true."

He tilts his head to one side, inviting Bones to kiss that sweet spot behind his ear. "Let me take care of you, tonight."

Bones hums his agreement, breathing in deeply, but suddenly stiffens—and not in the good way that presses hard and heavy into Jim's thigh.

"Bones?" Now Bones is shaking a little in his arms. "Should I call Medical?"

"Jim," Bones says, his voice soft and tremulous, "I think there's somethin' wrong with me."

"You're just horny, dumbass." He laughs.

"No, Jim," Bones insists, pulling away so that he can grasp Jim's upper arms with his hands, "something's wrong."

"What?" He asks. "C'mon, old man, you've been sleepin' for ages. Surely you can get it up—"

"Jim," this time, Bones' voice has gone down an octave, hoarse and feral and seductive in a way Jim hadn't known Bones was capable of, "I can smell you."

"I, uh, haven't showered in a while, I guess?" He says, and even though Bones is saying some pretty weird shit, his tone is making Jim's dick twitch with anticipation.

"And I'm pretty sure I can hear your heart beat." Bones takes a step forward, and Jim takes a step back in response, frowning.

"Okay, Bones, now you're kind of freaking me—" His back hits the wall, startling him into silence.

"I think I'd like to bite you." Bones whispers, his forearms coming to rest on the wall on either side of Jim's head. Their eyes meet, and Jim is struck by the thought that those amber flecks in Bones' eyes have never seemed so prominent as they do now—his eyes have always been more green than gold.

"Freaking me out, Bones." Jim says, one arm flailing a little against the wall. "Seriously."

"And suck until every last drop is gone." Bones continues as he leans forward, opening his mouth a little.

Jim hits the distress button on the Wall Comm at almost the same moment that he notices that Bones' canines have grown slightly larger and more-than-slightly sharper. The sound of the alert startles Bones into stepping back; Jim is pretty sure he can see his eyes and teeth go back to normal.

"Jim?" Bones asks, and he actually looks genuinely confused, which Jim finds to be equal parts disturbing and reassuring.

"You need to go back to Sickbay."

(SPACE IS DISEASE AND DANGER WRAPPED IN DARKNESS AND PAGEBREAKS)

_Leonard slams the sinister door forcefully shut, turning and leaning back against it as he puts his face in his hands. He massages his temples for a moment, then looks up as he hears that creaking noise again._

_The bright door has opened. Still shaken by what happened with the first door, he hurries across the hall and pulls that door closed as well. He falls to the floor beside it, leaning up against the wall and bringing his legs up to his chest so that he can rest his forehead on his knees._

"They're parasites of some kind." M'Benga says, showing them a surprisingly mundane-looking blob on the screen that is wrapped around a red blood cell—Bones' red blood cell. "We didn't catch it at first because it latched onto your red blood cells and camouflaged itself; if we hadn't gone back to do a more intensive search we probably never would have found it."

"And the…side effects?" Leonard asks.

"I haven't quite been able to figure that out, yet." M'Benga says. "I think that, because the parasites were feeding off of your red blood cells, you started craving blood to replenish yourself. I'm not sure why you wouldn't just start eating more iron, or something to that effect, but maybe the parasites had something to do with that, too. Especially considering…I mean, given where you must have come into contact with them…" M'Benga trails off with a grimace, then quickly changes the subject as he sees the expressions on Leonard and Jim's faces. "As to the…the fangs and eyes…I would hazard a guess that Jim was just overreacting? It was probably a trick of the light, and the parasite was causing a fever that made you say abnormal things, so…"

"I wasn't overreacting." Jim says. "I _know_ I saw fangs. And his eyes changed color. I swear to you, M'Benga, I saw it happen!"

"Well, I don't have an explanation for it." M'Benga says. "And the only evidence that such things even happened in the first place is your word."

"You're calling me a liar?" Jim asks, hackles rising. "Or are you just saying I've gone stark-raving mad?"

Leonard cuts him off with a hand on his shoulder. "Just calm down, Jim. You haven't gotten enough sleep over the past few days, and I _was_ saying some pretty weird shit. The lights in the room were pretty dim, too. It's possible that you just imagined it."

Jim presses his lips together, but nods jerkily. "I…guess it's possible. I am pretty tired."

"Right." Leonard nods, squeezing his shoulder a little before looking back at M'Benga. "Were you able to get rid of the parasite?"

M'Benga nods. "I believe so. I'd like Jim to keep you under close observation for two days, just to be sure, but I see no reason to make you stay here. And…well, given how exhausted he obviously is, I think two days of rest while he does that is just what the doctor ordered. You _both_ need to rest and…give yourselves time to come to terms with everything that's happened."

"Yeah." Leonard mutters, his jaw tightening for a moment. "Well, if we're good to go…?"

"Yes, of course." M'Benga smiles.

If M'Benga had looked just a little bit more into the parasites, a little bit longer, he would have noticed that they weren't _feeding_ off of Bones' red blood cells—they were _infecting_ them.

But he hadn't.

(SPACE IS DISEASE AND DANGER WRAPPED IN DARKNESS AND PAGEBREAKS)

_He looks up at the sound of another door opening—the neutral one, this time. He wonders if the last door—the one that represents where he came from—will open if he closes that third door. Then again, if it doesn't, he could be stuck here in this limbo forever. And, well, it can't be as bad as all that—could never be as bad as that first door. He kind of wishes he'd left the bright one open, but it's locked now and he gets the distinct feeling that it'll never open again._

_So he stands on shaky feet and goes over to the neutral door. He opens it the rest of the way, and is overcome with a sense of…peace with himself._

A week later, Jim and Leonard are lying in bed, Jim's back pressed against Leonard's front, Leonard's arms wrapped around him, their fingers and legs tangled together, Leonard's forehead at rest on Jim's shoulder.

"Jim," says he, his voice soft.

"Yeah, Bones?"

"Can I try something without you freaking out on me?"

"You know I'm always up for pretty much anything." Jim says.

"I…want to try biting you." He feels Jim stiffen in his arms. "It's just…I was thinking about what you said…about what _I_ said…and I just keep thinking about it. I can't get it out of my head."

Jim is quiet for a long moment. Takes in a shaky breath, and, "Okay. Okay, but…"

"You know I'll be careful." Leonard says, kissing his shoulder. "And you know I'll stop the minute you say so."

Jim nods jerkily, twisting his neck around so that he can capture Leonard's lips in a kiss.

"I know," he says when they pull apart, eyes meeting. "I know you will."

Leonard kisses him again, this time at the corner of his mouth, then continues to press soft little kisses against his jawline and neck until he reaches the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He sucks the spot gently, until he feels Jim relax against him. And then he opens his mouth and nips at it, letting his hands rove around the rest of Jim's body, leaving a trail of heat in the wake of his touches.

"Bones." Jim whimpers, his hips gyrating minutely.

"Trust me." Leonard says, and wraps his hand around Jim's dick at the same moment that he opens his mouth wide and bites down, just barely hard enough to break the skin.

Jim shudders and gasps, torn between pain and pleasure, but when Leonard bites down again he feels nothing but complete rapture, like a sudden, inexplicable high. He doesn't even notice that Leonard's incisors feel a little too sharp to be normal.

"Say you trust me." Leonard says as he licks away the blood that wells up from the mark.

"I trust you." Jim's eyes flutter closed as he tilts his head to give Leonard better access, his dick pulsing in Leonard's hand. "Fuck, Bones, I love you."

"I love you, too, kid." Leonard says, and bites down again at a slightly different spot. "Say you'll let me do this whenever I want."

"Whenever you want." Jim echoes obediently, his eyes glazed over.

He bites a spot just under Jim's ear. "Say you'll never tell."

"Never." His voice is a whisper.

He drags his lips over the bite marks, and hardly stops to wonder when the taste of copper became so palatable. He twists his hand, and bemoans the fact that he isn't inside Jim, can't feel the other man's pending orgasm surrounding him. His eyes shine gold in the darkness of the room. "Come for me."

Jim does.

_Leonard goes inside and shuts the door behind him._

_There is no turning back._

The End.

_A/N: Ahaha, I'm cutting this so close. OTL_


End file.
